Living as you may say is a slow process. You got to deal with every ball thrown at you-probably catch it, dodge it or play with it and never, I mean never back down. Life is hard as is and dealing with it is another tiring process but, you still got to fight, show-up and win the game.
Dreams Over Reality, Anyone!
I tried living on my terms- left an IT job, pursued a career I was not trained for and, followed my passion. As they say, when you work on what you love every day is phenomenal and you never feel tired. It was great initially, I was all pumped up to step into the new beginnings, even the beginners luck followed. I couldn’t wait to see my dream turning into a reality and, just like a splash of cold water thrown on your face; I faced the harsh reality.
Ignorance is Bliss!
I followed my passion only to die a slow death every other day. To write something good, I dived deep within; to find varied emotions. Even worse, I had to face them, write about them, think about them; I had to be observant of other happenings, intellectualism was no longer a mere word. I understood how little I knew and no matter what I did, it will always be little in comparison to the amount that I still need to learn or the things I don’t know. And, even after this self-evaluation when you write an excerpt and show it to the world, you might be annoyed.
You will be criticized, mistakes will be pointed out and your fragile and weak, validation-seeking-heart will cry in silence. You will tell yourself, that this is your decision you need to work extra hard, you need to hone your skills and even after years of following your passion, you will realize that you still need to and probably, always have to improve your craft. Thus, you might even reach and achieve your goal but, congratulations! now, you are critical of self and perfection is what you demand. Thereby, gifting yourself a life wherein you will never be satisfied.
Choices are fair: Die living or Live Dying!
I could have lived but, I chose slow death and here’s the thing: I am still thankful and grateful of the choice I made. Reason: I will rather die doing something, that keeps fascinating me, that keeps blowing my mind. Every time, I write something I feel happy. At times, I blow my own mind and, that is something worth doing. So, yes I chose to die living than live dying.